What Not to Do When Asking for a Letter of Recommendation

Recommendation letters play a role when it comes to scholarships, jobs, or even academic programs. This is why having a well-compelling letter of recommendation can help boost your application. However, over the years, I have seen a lot of students making mistakes when it comes to asking for a recommendation letter. I want you to know that asking for a recommendation letter is an art in itself. Many students make mistakes a lot, which has cost them many opportunities. If you have been wondering, "What not to do when asking for a letter of recommendation?", then stick to this guide to the end. In this guide, we are going to explore some of the common pitfalls, how you can avoid them, and how to make the best impression when requesting a letter of recommendation.

Why a Letter of Recommendation Matters

As a student looking for a scholarship, your letter of recommendation serves as a powerful endorsement of your abilities as a student, your character, as well as your accomplishments. It doesn't matter whether you are applying for a scholarship, a job, or even an internship; this document serves as a third-party validation that can set you apart from other applicants.

Also Read: What is the Best Letter of Recommendation for a Scholarship?

What Not to Do When Asking for a Letter of Recommendation

Also Read: How to Introduce Yourself in a Scholarship Application Letter (Proven Examples)

Top Mistakes to Avoid When Asking for a Letter of Recommendation

Most students make these mistakes, and I'm about to reveal them to you. Some of them don't take note of them, and this has been the reason why the majority of scholarship applicants fail to get their recommendation letter, which reduces the chances of them missing out on a scholarship they applied for. Here is the top list of mistakes you should avoid when asking for a letter of recommendation:

1. Waiting Until the Last Minute

Why it is bad: You see, a lot of students have no idea of the consequences that come with waiting until the last minute before taking action. This can cost you a lot, and you will probably miss an opportunity if you wait last minute before doing the right thing. You must give your recommender enough time to write a thoughtful letter for you in order to avoid a rushed or generic letter.

In most cases, giving your recommender at least 4-6 errks in advance is okay. This will give the recommender ample time to craft a personalized and strong letter for you.

2. Choosing the Wrong Recommender

Why it is bad: When you give someone who bearly knows you your letter to write, this will sound very generic, and anyone reading it will sense that the letter is not personalized from a mentor who truly understands your strengths.

When you are getting your recommendation letter, always make sure it is coming from someone familiar with your work ethic, achievements, and goals. This person can even be your teacher, employer, or even advisor.

What Not to Do When Asking for a Letter of Recommendation


3. Not Providing Enough Information

Why it's bad: Recommenders need context to write effectively. Without background information, they may struggle to highlight your achievements. If you want a good letter of recommendation, you need to share your resume, application goals, academic transcript, and any accomplishments or projects you want emphasized to your recommender so the person can write a good letter for you that meets the requirements of the scholarship you are applying for.

4. Being Too Informal or Demanding

Why it's bad: Approaching your recommender casually or pressuring them makes you appear unprofessional and entitled. You can make use of a polite approach and, respectful tone. You can try using a formal email or an in-person request. This has proven to work on many occasions, and it goes a long way.

5. Forgetting to Follow Up

Why it's bad: We are in a world where people are occupied every day, and they barely have time for themselves. Due to different busy schedules, your request might get lost in their schedule. If you don't hear from your recommender after some time, you can send a gentle reminder a week or two before the deadline, and offer to provide any needed materials.

6. Not Saying Thank You

Why it's bad: A lot of people unknowingly forget to say thank you and appreciate people. Failing to express gratitude can damage relationships and make it unlikely that the person will write for you again. Always try to send a sincere thank-you email or handwritten note to your recommender, telling them how well you appreciate their sincere help and best wishes. A better way is to always update them as it is going, take them along your journey, so they know how important they are to you. Following up to share your application outcome comes with a good relationship. You will surely get the support you need at any given time if you do that.

7. Asking the Recommender to Lie or Exaggerate

Why it's bad: You might be tempted to ask your recommender to sugarcoat the whole letter for you to make it interesting. That is a very wrong thing to do, and probably might cost you the scholarship you're applying for. This action alone undermines the credibility of both you and the recommender, and can have serious consequences if discovered. Just try to be honest and highlight genuine accomplishments. Integrity speaks louder than fabricated success.

8. Sending a Vague Request

Why it's bad: Most failed recommendation letter starts with a vague request such as "Can you write me a recommendation?". This alone doesn’t provide direction for the recommender, so the person can craft a good recommendation letter. When making your request, you should try to make sure you specify what the recommendation is for (e.g., scholarship, job, university) and the qualities or experiences you'd like them to focus on.

9. Overlooking Application Instructions

Why it's bad: If your recommender doesn't follow specific formatting or submission guidelines, it could hurt your application. When giving your recommender the letter to write for you, make sure to clearly explain any requirements, including word count, format, and where or how to submit the letter.

10. Assuming They Will Say Yes

Why it's bad: Not everyone is comfortable writing a recommendation, and assuming so can put them in an awkward position. Try to confirm with them by asking them if they feel comfortable writing a strong letter of recommendation. Doing so will give them the chance to decline gracefully if needed. That is better than having a badly written letter.

What Not to Do When Asking for a Letter of Recommendation



Tips for a Successful Recommendation Letter Request

Here are some tips you should note. They are important for getting a perfect recommendation letter:
  • Be clear and concise in your communication.
  • Provide all materials needed for writing.
  • Respect their time and give them enough notice.
  • Confirm submission before your deadline.
  • Express gratitude genuinely and promptly.

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some frequently asked questions regarding a recommendation letter:

Can I write my own letter of recommendation and have someone sign it?
No. Writing your own letter and asking someone to sign it is unethical and could disqualify your application. Always request a genuine letter from someone who knows you well.

How early should I ask for a letter of recommendation?
At least 4–6 weeks before the deadline is best. This gives your recommender time to prepare and avoids last-minute stress.

Who should I not ask for a letter of recommendation?
Avoid asking friends, family, or people who don’t know your work ethic or qualifications. Their opinions are seen as biased or unqualified.

What if I don’t know anyone to ask for a letter of recommendation?
Build relationships with mentors, supervisors, professors, or community leaders. Attend events, volunteer, and get involved to create authentic connections.

What if my recommender misses the deadline?
Follow up respectfully with a reminder. If they still miss it, have a backup recommender in mind.

Is it okay to ask for a recommendation via email?
Yes, but ensure the email is professional, detailed, and polite. Include your resume and any necessary context.

Can I ask for a letter of recommendation on short notice?
 It’s not advisable. Always give your recommender at least 4 weeks to write a detailed and strong letter.

Should I follow up if I don’t hear back?
 Yes. A gentle reminder after a week is acceptable. Be polite and respectful.

What’s the best way to ask a professor for a recommendation?
Send a formal email or ask in person. Provide your resume, academic history, and reasons for your request.

Is it okay to use the same recommendation letter for multiple applications?
Yes, if the letter is general. However, customized letters tailored to specific opportunities are more effective.

Can a bad letter of recommendation hurt my chances? 
Absolutely. That’s why it’s important to ask someone who supports you and knows your strengths.

Conclusion: How to Make the Best Impression

If you're serious about your future, you should also be serious about how you approach recommendation letters. Knowing what not to do when asking for a letter of recommendation can make the difference between a strong application and a missed opportunity.

Take the time to prepare, be thoughtful in your request, and show appreciation; your professionalism will shine through.

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